I’ve talked a lot about all the incredible and beautiful qualities people with autism have (much like how everyone has)! However, we can’t have a rainbow without rain, so here is a sneak peak into the rain of an autistic person’s life.
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One thing that can be incredibly hard for an autistic person is not understanding social interaction: It may seem for most people that social interaction is like learning to walk.However for those on the spectrum it can be an ongoing battle of understanding, usually leading to anxiety and low self-esteem (another symptom autistic people are prone to have).
I wrote this after I read Genesis in the bible. Although as a christian, I love reading it and learning more about the word of God.However, as an autistic christian, I am extremely sensitive to pain, so reading the old testament which was full of sin,is something I take literally and can affect my mood significantly.Therefore it is really important that I am able to look up and understand things from others perspective, and from this I understood that underneath the pain was a loving God who was faithful to his people!
You’re probably thinking, Phoebe we are hear to talk about autism not about God! But my experience is showing you that autistic people can be extremely sensitive to the world’s properties. For other autistic people, they may feel down after having a conversation in a classroom or workplace that involves a sensitive topic to them or being around certain people can make them feel anxious or sad….
BUT STOP RIGHT THERE, I don’t want you to read this and get down about it! it wasn’t meant or that reason (Don’t take it literally ;)). I’m telling you this so you can understand a person on the autistic spectrums struggles a little bit more. However if you are on the spectrum and reading this, I hope you understand that there is not something wrong with you to feel this way. BECAUSE GUESS WHAT!
I feel it too 🙂
On the other hand, If you are not diagnosed on the spectrum and personally feel that you have experienced deep sadness or anxiety from these reasons, know that you are not alone. Everyone is somewhere on the autistic spectrum, so it is normal for everyone to have one or two of these symptoms 🙂
But anyways, I think for everyone in this world no matter how many times we meditate, have a social media detox or watch a nice movie. Sometimes nothing is going to make us feel better and that’s ok. we can get sad for no reason, whether we are autistic or not!
But if you spend time with an autistic person or anyone in special needs for that matter. You are doing so well! Sometimes you may feel emotionally exhausted because you are not looking after your own problems. That’s why I want you to remember to look after yourself too! You’re are only human, and I would hate for you to feel guilty, because you are trying to be super human. So breathe, and know that your struggles are just as valid as a person on the spectrum’s struggles.
Hope you all have an incredible week in Lockdown! And want to give a BIGGG THANK YOU for all our amazing NHS Staff, can’t wait to clap for you on Thursday as well as everyday of the week in my prayers!
I’ll never forget in my late teenage years, sitting opposite someone who I hadn’t met in a couple years.
I watched the person laugh, talk and studied every action, demeanour and facial expression they portrayed (facial expression being the hardest one to understand…autism quirk!). The longer I was in this person’s presence the more a feeling of deep depression clouded over me, and it wasn’t until a few days later that this depression was released, and I cried to my mum. She asked me why I was upset and I replied saying…
‘They are so sad’
I didn’t know why I thought this, but it turned out I was completely right. This person was facing some issues at the time, and I knew it without even being told.
You’re probably thinking I’m one of those meditation guru’s who can sense ‘vibes’ off people (P.S If you are one of these people, you are awesome!). But younger teenage me, didn’t even know what meditation was back then, so the conclusion to this sense of peoples feelings seemed to be unknown…
This was just one example of how my perception of the world seemed to be different. Flashing lights, crowded rooms seemed to bring on a similar feeling of anxiety as did the school environment.
BUT…
This heightened sense of reality, gave me the greatest capacity to enjoy the countryside, sunset beaches and those precious movie and dance parties with your friends. When we know, and when we sense kindness and love around us, reality for an autistic children becomes every bit more amazing.
It can be emotionally exhausting sometimes, but it can also be one of the greatest gifts in the world.
Think about it! You understand people and places on a deeper level, without having to understand their facial expression. You have special interests which you are so enticed by, you could make it your full-time job one day!
You have qualities that neurotypical people, don’t have. So don’t avoid them, embrace them, the good and the bad!
Working in the Big Wide World
As someone with autism, feeling ‘obsessed’ with certain things, is another thing added to a list of what makes us us. For me, my church and my faith have been something I have been OBSESSED OVER for much over a year now, which lead to my dream of becoming a pastor,and study at Hillsong college Australia.For many people the opportunities to get a job would be endless, because there are so many office and cafe jobs out there! But for people on the autistic spectrum, the idea of being in a crowded office,workspace, whereby you have to be social all day and jumping from one small job to the other, may be really daunting, especially if your work doesn’t know you have autism!
That’s why it’s really important that you look at jobs and pathways that suit the needs for autism, because that means you will thrive and not just survive in your work environment! Plus you will most likely LOVE YOUR JOB, and isn’t that something we all want to be able to say!
I know what you’re thinking…BOY IT’S HARD WORK BEING AUTISTIC! We pick up emotions easily, we live in a society that possibly doesn’t address us enough .AND WE HAVE TO FIND A JOB THAT SUITS US!
Ok ok, you got me! But doesn’t everyone thrive in better work environments then others? Haven’t you heard of someone who started an office job and hated it, so did something completely different. Or did a degree, and then got a job in a completely different field? The truth is, we are all trying to figure out where we thrive best…But you know what’s great about being autistic…YOU’VE ALREADY GOT THE ANSWERS FOR YOU!!! Yep Phoebe here to save the day (You’re welcome :)). So here’s a list of tips that are known to help you thrive environment for people with autism!
TELL YOUR BOSS: I know, it’s scary and you may be scared that your boss won’t have enough sympathy towards, probably because they don’t understand how amazing we are! But if that is the case, then you know that maybe this work environment isn’t right for you, and it may be time to find a new job. On the other hand, if your boss is sympathetic, then they may come up with policies to support you! I’m a part-time waitress at one of the busiest cafe’s in my home town, and i am telling you now, having a supportive and understanding boss makes all the difference!
KNOW YOUR STRENGTHS: It can be easy with autism to focus on the struggles that you have, but you also have soon many strengths that neurotypical people may not
KNOW YOUR SPECIAL INTEREST AND SMASH IT: One of the blessings of having autism is that you usually have a special interest. That by doing it,you feel at peace and focused. Imagine doing this for the rest of your life and with thousands of jobs out there, I’m sure one has something to do with what you love!
Whatever you chose to do as a career. There may be times when you feel like giving up, because the setbacks are too tough, but keep thinking of the long term vision.
YOU WILL GET THERE I PROMISE!
The Big Wide Technological World
So…you understand how people with autism struggle with social interaction in the BIG WIDE WORLD! But what about in the technological world?
Well I don’t know about you, but for me the technological world makes sense! You follow those you like, unfollow those you don’t like and comment on those who are closest to you! You can post pictures of your interests, passions and text friends without having to understand body language, different tones of voice or knowing when is a good time to jump in a conversation (the last one I find the hardest).
It opens up so many doors for people with autism, because even if you may be around people who aren’t like you in the ‘real world’, you are most likely going to find someone like you online! All you have to do is search #Minecraft#Art#Autism or whatever your hobby or characteristic is into instagram and you can find people just like you!
I know that without social media, I probably would have never written this blog let alone started my instagram! I don’t know what it is, but there is something really special about finding people who are so open about who they are on social media, whether on the spectrum or not. It gives you a confidence boost like no other!
Of course, I wouldn’t be being honest with you if I didn’t talk about the negatives of social media for people on the spectrum.
Like anything, it is important to never become obsessed or overuse social media, even after all the positive things I said!
For example, all of us on the spectrum do generally struggle with social skills, therefore if we are prioritising social media to be our source of interaction. We may struggle when we go back to school or work and there is no texting or private accounts to protect us from trying to understand body language or facia expressions (I know I’m sorry)!
Also…not everyone is nice on social media, That’s why when I first started my instagram account, I didn’t tell people and just followed people who were like me (mental health and autism advocates…and travel accounts, just because they are soon pretty :)).
Final negative (this is the last one I promise!). There are some things that I still don’t understand to this day about social media, which include sarcastic comments, people creating themselves in a way that isn’t true to who they are (most likely due to their low confidence levels ) and of course CYBER BULLYING! I know that these are things we are never going to be able to control (I know I hate it too). That’s why it is so important to follow those accounts that make you happy and not just following what the trend is (Although we are pretty good at this already :))
I know these points may seem like a lot of work, but some of the best things in life DO NOT COME FREE!
If you read my first blog post in this topic, you would understand that that the cost of being on the spectrum is nothing compared to the many positives us lot on the spectrum will experience!
SO PLEASE REMEMBER: The rain within the struggles in the real world and the digital one, comes along with the sunshine, making you a beautiful rainbow! Don’t ever forget that…please xxx
Sincere Self-Worth Clothing 